Player Profiles
Barry - Coach who likes to play but breaks down as often as a 1970's British car.
Nerea - Our Spanish exchange student! Nobody understands a word she's saying.
Amaan - One of our young guns! needs help finding the tryline. Just point the way.
Zoe - Mom of 3 boys. Anything to get out of the house ffs!
Helen - all round nice person! Clearly hiding a dark secret.
Shehan - bonebreaker! Likes to shout orders. Should have joined the military.
Jeremy - likes to play Touch rugby like its full contact. Resorts to cheap tactics when losing.
Marghe - Big rugby fan. Big on the booze. Big surprise!
Fiona - Loves to rub her accomplishments in your face.
Karen - or Shirley....Suns out guns out. Rozzer on the juice.
Kiran - Bull in a China shop. Has anger management issues so don't show him your teeth.
Suzanna - She's going, she's staying! Loves Sunday roasts and fist fights on a Friday.
Courtney - The moustache says it all. Obviously needs help with life choices.
Rupert - like a dog chasing a bone! Go boy, go!
Raihan - loves to sidestep everyone, passes like a girl.
Shaun - Who knows what he's going to do next, we don't think Shaun knows either.
Asel - Likes touch rugby and the thug life. We not judging.
Jonathan aka JT - Runaway truck!
Alice and Callum - Too nice to separate. They using touch rugby to spend more time together. Adorable!
Ian - Size 15 boots and loves to run at innocent civilians. Who brought shin guards?
Jen - Newbie export from Tring! Yes, they play touch rugby in Tring apparently.
Mags - another referee that also plays. Likes counting steps like its money.
Duncan - A man of faith. Been around since the Ark. It shows.
Chris - Cycles to work every day! Clearly a nutjob. Married to Zoe, obvs also nuts.
Owen - Level 3 ref who suddenly forgets the rules when he is playing. How convenient!
Hayley - Sports Billy with a ponytail.
James - Only shows up on dark gloomy nights like a true Scotsman.
Guy - grumpy dad. Somebody give him a hug.
Ben - Super keen but lives in Potters Bar! How old are you bro?
Sag - aka "The Crab". Broken toy that loves to yap in your ear.
Nic - Part of the furniture. Only plays when the golf course is closed.
Lee - Quiet until he scores a try and then try shut him up.
Alastair - Where the hell are you Ali? Full of excuses.
Justin - Thinks he's still 25. Lol, he's so clearly not...
Pringle - Another one that thinks "he's still got it". Loves to party until the wheels fall off.
Avi - Like a Jack Russell up and down the field. He's young, he'll learn.
Emma - Lives across the road from the club. Obviously trying to runaway from married life.
Dom - another ex-union player struggling to cope with a normal life. We've setup a a GoFundMe.
Nick - Got off the drugs and the womanising. Touch rugby is helping him put his life back together.
Mick - Gobby Aussie rugby player....just what we need!
Robert (Bokkie) - Saffa export. Only turns up when the drinks are free.
Marco - Loves Rugby, slinging dice and Pokemon cards.
Manoj - We are still trying to find the switch to make him run in a straight line. Losing hope now...
Tudor - Frustrated retiree on medication, Stay well clear.
Florin - Built like Sh!thouse and plays touch rugby. Messy!
Phil - Somebody get the man a hairbrush for Christmas!
Craig - The beard is gone now thank goodness. Run's like he's looking for a bathroom stall.
Roy - Proper geezer! Watch the dummy...you've been warned.
John - Turns up on full moon evenings only. Plays for 60 min and then disappears into the fog.
Sharib - Mouthy Sri Lankan. Penalty for talking back to the ref Sharib!
Dal - "Pass me the ball!" he shouts....and then proceeds to drop the passed ball!
Austin - Still has his training wheels on but we getting there.
Simmo and Susie - Run illegal gambling dens and launder their money through our charity. Its a win-win for all parties
Andrew (Dutch) - Loves the Brandy & birds....I'll leave it there.
Flanders - Fled to Greece to escape his checkered past . Fly's in regularly for "Referee" work! wink wink.
Nara - Firey Italian on the wing. Somebody is gonna get screamed at. Don't take it personally.
Mario - sheez, where do I even start...10 years with the club. It doesn't show.
Ramen - Fair weather player. Just about squeezes into his kit. Married life is treating him well.
Gayan - Back on the scene after a hiatus herding goats in the Himalayas.
Remi - Only plays in summer because that's apparently the way its done in Romania.
Craig - Another Saffa that likes to pull hamstrings and talk about the Boks. Yawn!